STRANGEWAYS
“What are you in for?”
“I burnt my ID Card. There were a dozen of us. We did it right in front of the Goon Squad Inspectorate headquarters. They had to arrest us in front of a hundred witnesses.”
“Nice one. I wish I’d had a card to burn.”
“You never got one?”
“Nah. I’m a vagrant. I was living on the streets before the cards were ever introduced. I couldn’t afford to buy one. “
“Weren’t some of the Christian charities and soup kitchens forking out for ID Cards for the homeless?”
“So I heard, but I didn’t want one. I got nicked last week. I’m surprised I lasted so long. An inspector asked me for my ID. I just shrugged and told him the truth. Next minute, here I was. “
“I got pulled in by the actual police.”
“Wow. I heard we still had a few of those left. Never actually seen one though, not since 2014. “
“Now here we are. Nice here, isn’t it?”
“Reeks of piss, but we get clean clothes and three square meals a day. It’s better than I’m used to.”
“I’m a bit more used to my creature comforts I’m afraid. I’m going to miss work and going out for a pint.”
“You’ll get used to it, how long do you get for Card burning anyway?”
“Ten years Max. With good behaviour, I’ll be out in seven.”
”I’ll be out in a few weeks as long as I go to the Catholic Mission Hall. “
“Are you going to?”
“Ah. I’m telling the screws that I will of course, but I’m heading straight back on the open road. I’ll probably be back here within a few weeks.”
“You’ve done well to stay out of the Inspection team hands for so long.”
“You learn to watch for the uniforms. I was always good at hide and seek. I mostly kipped in the sewers and storm drains of a night. It’s the plain clothed bastards who copped me in the end. They were acting as hobos. They played the part quite well too. ”
“So what happens now?”
“We wait for them to run off our new ID Cards and then we just blend into prison life. We should get them in a few days. Yours should be quicker to produce than mine. Your information will all still be on the Central Intelligence Register right up to the time you trashed the card. I never had one. They’ll have to build a dossier on me from scratch.”
“”What if I burn my card again as soon as I get it?”
“I wouldn’t mate. You’ll be in forever if they get the idea in their heads. The cards can be handy here, believe me.”
“I’d have thought the nick would be last place we’d need them.”
“They want to regimente the idea of using them and being checked up on every five minutes. The screws can mark in any gesture of insolence or insubordination on your card. It will be read any time you are up before the parole board. It records visiting times, meal times, exercise periods, and any trouble you get into. Until we get ours, you and I are both to be kept in our little holding cell here. They’ll only put us into the main wing when our cards go online. “
“Hope they remember to feed us.”
“Oh, they will. We’ll get the leftovers after everyone else finishes eating.”
“Charming. Any other surprises?”
“Yeah, a few. You can’t even get to seethe prison padre or go to the Chapel until the card is operational.”
“That won’t bother me. I’m an atheist.”
“Don’t tell them that. Attendance at mass is handy for parole purposes. The Parole board are nearly all-hardline churchgoers. They like to see signs of piety and remorse. The pews are full of non-believers here, believe me. Play the system. You’ll get out quicker.”
“Worth considering. Will we be cellmates once we get into the main prison?”
“Unlikely. They’ll just shove us in any cell with space. It’s often three or four to a cell in there. This is as comfortable as you’ll be for some time.”
“So I could end up sharing with psychos, rapists and murderers yet?”
“There’s a few of them in here, but mostly its people who have been caught on some kind of ID Card infringement or other. You’ll be a hero to most of them. They like card burners. You’ll do all right. It’s good to know someone is still leading the resistance. What’s your name anyway? I’m Bill Parker.”
“Good to meet you Bill. I’m 4375786745434098.”
“Yeah, card number. Impressed you remember it, but what’s your name?”
“4375786745434098. I had it changed by deed poll to fuck about with the system some more. I was called Craig Foley before.”
“You’re a real character Craig, or should that be 437 er… whatever.”
“Craig will do fine…. You know, I think I’m going to like it here.”
“Yeah. Things can only get better.”
© Copyright. Arthur Chappell
LINK TO THIS PAGE http://arthurchappell.me.uk/id.card.stories-strangeways.htm
LINKS TO OTHER PEOPLES PAGES E-mail arthur@chappell7300.freeserve.co.uk
UPDATES MYSPACE - http://www.myspace.com/arthurchappell
FACEBOOK - http://profile.to/arthurchappell/
FACEBOOK BLOG http://apps.facebook.com/blognetworks/blogpage.php?blogid=85623
MY BOOKS - http://stores.lulu.com/store.php?fAcctID=952521